A story about competition, collaboration and games.
It was an easter egg party. Friends and family gathered in the apartment with their children for a fun evening. The six young children, ranging from 5-8 years of age, knew each other well, and played nicely together with the piles of toys offered by the host. They were immersed in play, collaborating and inventing new games.
At the same time, the parents hid a huge number of plastic eggs, each with candy tucked inside all over the living room, under pillows, behind the sofa, and other easy to discover places. Once finished, they announced that it was time for the easter egg hunt to begin and sent the six kids into the search task.
Immediately, the kids stormed the place, lifting everything that can be lifted, sticking their hands anywhere they can reach, peeking into every hole and corner, and filling their basket with the Easter eggs. Their actions were a bit rough, with some pushing and shoving, and the parents were cheering the children on their successes.
One of the girls had a combination of luck and smart. She was able to pile her basket to the brim, filled her pockets and still could not contain all her findings. A second girl trailed behind her hoping to ride on the luck of the first girl, her basket was only half full.
The first girl looked at the second, saw her frustration and decided to share her loot. She scooped a bunch of eggs from her full basket and put it in the second girl’s basket.
The second girl was dumbstruck, but the first girl encouraged her “That’s ok, I have a lot. Take it. Take it.” Her face lit as she kept giving until the second girl’s basket was full to the brim. She was excited to be able to share, to be helpful and valuable.
The hunt ended. Then, some competitive parents announced that this was actually a competition for who would find the most eggs and praised the children with full baskets.
The girl who had just given so many of her eggs to her friend got no credit. She would have won the game for sure. But because of her generosity she was now considered a loser. She stood there with a sad face, speechless. Nobody pays attention to losers.
Except for her mother. The mother knew what had happened. She took the little girl in her arms and told her that she was the best at sharing, that she had won the sharing contest. But that was between mother and daughter, the winner was celebrating, and girl who should have won was left out.
I understand that the parents did not want to announce the competition at the beginning to minimize reckless pushing and shoving. On the other hand, announcing it at the end could produce unwanted results. It could introduce a sense of constant competition, especially with children, and degrade their will to collaborate.
I witnessed the joy of giving on the little girl’s face when she shared her loot, and I witnessed the sadness when she realized that her generosity lost her the game. I wondered what would she learn from that? Would she still be generous and sharing in the future?
Make sure you understand the rules of the game before you start.
Watch the video version on YouTube: click on the picture above